I'm drive I can fine osifer
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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