From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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