i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
