it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
These tits shall not be calmed
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
