I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
