Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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