I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
No more Irish car bombs ever.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You need a sexual gate keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize