I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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