How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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