I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
ttyl tear gas
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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