She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
