I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I pour the whiskey from now on
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
