I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
