just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
