Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
