Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
