so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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