just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
