You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Tornado booty call.. dedication
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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