Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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