I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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