moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
