Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
