This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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