I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
