too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
