UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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