that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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