u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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