I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
