Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
