Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Randomize
