But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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