Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Too much gin, very little bucket
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
