I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
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If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize