My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
