Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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