we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
