Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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