i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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