i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
