He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
