haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
