I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize