Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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