update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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