Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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