I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
