I just threw up on my dentist
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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