i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
