My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
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yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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