If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
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