no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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