Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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