I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize