Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
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