kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
