I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
